What should football be called?

Football season is still a couple of months away, but with fantasy football drafts already happening people are thinking about the game. Even me, who gets bruises and other injuries playing defense against people who are light by football standards in a pick-up basketball game. At least I get picked in basketball after the captains have already seen me play, which should not be the case in a tackle football game. I'd probably need to block several shots with my head before I made an attempt to play tackle football, but I played in a league last year in which I spent much of the time hoping my injured professional athletes would stop being so injured and wondering what was wrong with Eli Manning and now I care about football.

I care about the current NFL, but not all that much for the tradition of the game. Like the tradition of calling it football. Feet are important - you can ask Shaun Alexander - actually you probably can't get him to talk to you but if you could he would tell you that feet matter, but are they important enough to name the game after a body part that is used almost as much of the time in the game that much of the world calls handball? I say no, especially because many of the times when feet are prominent are times when the team is trying to make a bad situation somewhat less disastrous. Field goals and punts equal either partial or total surrender during that offensive strike, and football has a right-wing mentality so if the political right-wing refuses to give up on something that would take a miracle to achieve then why should football embrace a body part that embodies failure to attempt a miracle like fifteen yards on fourth down on your own thirty yard line? It shouldn't. And kick-offs and extra points are among the least exciting parts of the game.

It's called football, but distance in the game is not even measured in feet. It is measured in yards. Should it be called yardball? No, because two major sports are named after either the immediated desired destination according to the offensive of either the runner or the ball. That goal in what i currently called football is not a yard, but a first down. Calling it "first down ball" sounds too much like the beginning of a set of instructions to a dog. I, with my absolute power in this blog, strike dow that idea as ridiculous.

The game in question makes use of both hands and feet, so it could be called "hand and foot ball". That reminds me of waiting, and there is plenty of waiting in that game. So far so good, but names of sports are rarely longer than ten letters. can't think of a single instance in which the name of the sport itself, without designating the gender of the players, exceeds that amount of letters. Horse racing is not a sport - I claim absolute power until I can think of a better reason, but equestrian is. Newspapers don't want to waste their ink on long names like that, so that's no good.

I obviously have no problem with wasting space on this blog. I've written a bunch of words and come up with no solution, and doubt that it'll change. Same for America's name for the game that most of the world uses for soccer.